Learning to Listen to the Body

Decoding the mind’s check engine light: emotions!

Image Credit: Nathan Guzman

Let’s be honest. Emotions can be confusing, frustrating, and completely annoying to deal with. However, they also can be insightful, uplifting, and a gateway to a deep understanding of the self. At their core, emotions are information. Energy in motion. They are also the check engine light of the body.

We have an interesting tendency to speed up or completely stop when we experience stress. We may do more, work harder, or even arrive at a screeching halt. These actions are avoidance cleverly disguised as coping. You might even feel temporary relief. How do you know if you are doing this? Do you feel fine during the week until Saturday arrives? The issue with distractions is that the root issue is still present.

Slowing down gives us the opportunity to experience and process our feelings. In this space you can turn your awareness inward and observe without judgement.

How to Turn Awareness to the Body

1.    Physically Slow Down. You might go for a short leisurely walk with no headphones, find a quiet place to rest, or even sit where you are seated in this moment.

2.    Notice What is Happening Internally. You might say to yourself “I notice my jaw is clenched and my shoulders are tense”. Take several, slow deep breaths allowing these areas to soften on the exhale. Each breath brings you a little closer to relaxation.

3.    Ground Yourself. When we are experiencing intense emotions, fight or flight is activated. The speech and logic part of your brain is inhibited, preventing you from fully thinking clearly. You can engage in progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, or another activity that you find relaxing. Below is an example of a quick and calming progressive muscle relaxation script:

PMR Script: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_duhPeToOfA&t=5s

4.    Identify What Your Body is Trying to Tell You. When you learn to ground yourself, it becomes easier to listen to the body. An intense emotion that does not match the situation is usually a sign of an unmet need. Understanding your unmet needs can lead to actions that are more in alignment with your values. You may also experience less suffering and have less regrets from lashing out at others or shutting down for protection.

Place a hand on your heart when you are upset and ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment?” “Why am I reacting with anger/fear/sadness?”. Approach the pain with compassion and curiosity.

Everyone’s body speaks a slightly different dialect of the same language. Tension in your shoulders after a long day might mean you are taking on too many responsibilities or too much drama from others (ever heard of the idiom carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?). Perhaps you may notice lashing out in an argument, and that is your body and mind’s way of saying “I don’t feel safe in this moment”.

Compassionate Tip: Start Small. Practice these techniques to get in touch with your unmet needs and create more space in your life for peace. I recommend practicing when the emotions are not as big to build up your skills for the times you really need it. Thanks for reading and best of luck!

-Kristie Powell, LMHC